


I've got you now

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Juliantina, Light Angst, One Shot, Reconciliation, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: Juliana goes to see Valentina after speaking with her mom. She needs to tell her all the things she's always known, that she is built of oceans, and stars and galaxies and that she is the world Juliana wants to live in forever.





	I've got you now

**Author's Note:**

> Reconciliation of sorts. Its not heavy on the physical as I wanted them to talk and feel and just be without it having to be sexual. After everything I just don't think they are there yet. (will probably write that next :) )
> 
> Feel free to yell at me, discuss or share the love here or on twitter @theQueerwriter.
> 
> Thanks for reading! This is my first Juliantina fic.. and i did finish it at 3am so any mistakes are mine and done in the delirium of trying to finish it before sleep over came me

* * *

 

The early morning light had begun to filter through the cracks in the closed curtains, piercing her vision, dilating her pupils, reflecting in the brown hues of their irises. Gentle finger tips trailed up and down her bare arm, resting against the steady rise and fall of her chest. Lips brushed across the back off her neck, breath ghosting across warm skin. Juliana felt a smile blossom onto her face mirroring the one pressed into her skin. 

 

A contented sigh rippled through her as she shifted and carefully rolled onto her back. Perfect blue ocean eyes stared back at he, filling her soul, invading every part of her existence. A steady warmth enveloped her as Valentina placed a delicate kiss to her lips, a barely there, mirage of a kiss, that if she hadn't been fully focused on the woman next to her, she might have missed it. Her eyes fluttered closed as if on instinct, as if guided by a mystical universal force and hazily opened again as she felt Valentina’s presence move away from her.

 

A perfect silence echoed around them, permeated only by the memories of events having taken place the previous evening, by thoughts of a future that had up until recently looked pretty grim. Her mind drifted to last night and how they had ended up here.

 

HOURS EARLIER

 

Juliana stood in front of the giant door that begged the entrance to the Carvajal house. She hadn't knocked yet but was sure Valentina knew she was there, having had to pass through the security post at the gate to the compound. They had let her in without as much fuss as previously and as she made her way to the front steps she was glad for the reprieve of being barred from seeing Valentina. As she stood there, her fingers fidgeted with the cuffs of the sleeves on her leather jacket; it was a nervous habit she had picked up and as the minutes passed her hands had begun to clench and unclench as if building up the courage to knock.

 

 All sorts of things were running through her mind; should she have come? Did Valentina want to see her? She’d  said she need space and her being here wasn’t exactly respecting that. What would she say or could she say to try and reach Valentina again. Her mind began to spin, leaving her light headed and heavy on breath but before she knew it, her knuckles had connected with the hardwood of the door; a defiant echo slammed around the space on the other side. 

 

She blew a heavy, bated breath through her cheeks as she heard the sound of light foot steps approach the door. Her heart almost shattered at the sight before her as the door swung open gently. Faded steel slate eyes blinked into hers, rimmed red and tired, exhaustion and defeat a permanent fixture on the beautiful features of Valentina’s face. It took everything Juliana had not to pull Valentina into her arms; that wouldn’t help right now. Wordlessly, Valentina slipped away from the door and into the house; a pang of sorrow cut deep into Juliana’s chest at seeing her so broken. She closed the door gently behind her and walked into the sitting room that Valentina was in; the large sofa almost enveloping her ting frame. Juliana sat on the edge of the coffee table in front Valentina; keeping as much distance as she could but sat as close as she was allowed. 

 

A thick, burdening silence rested on the space around them, a space Juliana sort of didn’t recognise anymore. Valentina curled into herself, fiddling with the hem of the light shawl she was wearing. Juliana watched on as a tear tracked it’s way down perfect cheeks and decided, no, she wouldn’t just sir here and watch the woman she loves destroy herself any further. 

 

_“Val, por favor… mírame”_

 

Juliana shuffled forward a little and placed a gentle hand onto her leg. It was like electricity, a jolt burning through her, a current filling her soul at just being able to touch her. Valentina etched forward towards Juliana legs off of the sofa, wedged against Juliana’s and the table. For the first time Valentina looked at her, actually looked and saw her. Saw the pain Juliana herself knew she had caused reflected back at her.

 

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

The words hit Juliana’s ears painfully, heart echoing the sentiment with a heavy, almost rib cracking thud. She shook her head over and over again, reach up to tuck a fallen lock of hair back behind her ear.

 

_“Mi amor..”_ A delicate whisper. 

 

_“You have nothing to apologies for.”_

 

Valentina cupped her hand over Juliana’s on her cheek and took a deep centring breath.

 

_“So much has happened… your kidnapping, finding out your father is still with you… Lucho”_

 

Juliana grimaced at hearing his name. As much as she wanted to hate him, she was glad that Lucho had protected Valentina and her mum in that moment. She stayed quiet hoping it would encourage Valentina to continue to talk to her. It was a long minute but she eventually continued; a small voice all she could manage.

 

_“Everyone is leaving me”_

 

Juliana knew that she was part of the reason Valentina thought this. The last time they had seen each other Juliana had said she didn’t know if she was leaving but it could be a strong possibility.

 

_“I’m not going anywhere Val.”_

 

A glimmer of something that looked like hope flickered in Valentina’s eyes, if only for a moment and then it was gone.

 

_“but you have to leave… to be safe”_

 

Juliana shook her head and grabbed both of Valentina’s hands in her own.

 

_“No. I’m done running Valentina. It’s all I have ever done and it has cost me so much. I thought I had to leave to keep you and everyone else safe but Panchito is right. We would be starting over with nothing again, with no one again and I don’t want to live my life like that, by someone else’s rules. I know what I want now…”_

 

Juliana was surprised at how strong her voice was, how much determination had pierced her soul. She hoped that it made her seem sure, and while she was sure about how she felt and the fact that she wanted Valentina, she was terrified that she had done irreparable damage and that there was no way back from here.

 

_“What about your mama?”_

 

Juliana felt a sad smile form on her lips. 

 

_“She is why I am here.”_

 

A wave of confusion washed over Valentina.

 

_“How so?”_

 

Juliana shifted from the table to the sofa, next to Valentina.

 

_“We talked and she said to me that after everything that we have been through and after everything you risked to save me, that she knows what I feel for you is true, and that she just wants me to be happy.”_

 

A tear edged its way out of the corner of Juliana’s eye, caught by Valentina’s thumb, that now caressed her face. Juliana worried her lip in her teeth for a moment, trying to savour Valentina’s contact with her, before continuing. 

 

_“I know a lot has happened between us, that I betrayed you and because of that I understand if you don't feel the same about me anymore but I need you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would change that for the world.”_

 

Juliana was surprised when Valentina pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Her surprised turned into a tide of emotion that crashed over her and as she wrapped her arms around Valentina, the levy she had built to hold herself together fell apart and her body wracked with a heavy sob. Tears began to fall as she buried her face into Valentina’s shoulder, trying to regain some sort of composure. She didn’t have any right to do this, to fall apart, and have Valentina put her back together again. Valentina deserved better. Juliana pulled back from her shaking her head. 

 

_“I’m sorry, I know I have no right to fall apart right now. You deserve better.”_

 

Valentina shook her head, lifting Juliana’s head with a finger under her chin, looking her in the eyes.

 

_“If anyone has the right to fall apart, its you. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, even when you don’t have to… and for what it’s worth, I think I know what I deserve.”_

 

Juliana worried her lip between her teeth again as she listened but stopped when Valentina grazed her thumb across it. Valentina’s eyes danced across Juliana’s face, mapping every inch of it, remembering it from the before. A few moments passed before either of them spoke.

 

_“Just because we haven’t been together, doesn't mean I stopped being in love with you.”_

 

The words were accompanied by a softness returning to Valentina’s eyes. 

 

_“Te amo Juliana.”_

 

Soft lips brushed against her own and Juliana didn’t know what to do. Valentina kissed her softly, her breath ghosting their lips as she rested her forehead against Juliana’s.

 

_“You need to forgive yourself.”_

 

Juliana revelled in how soft Valentina’s skin was against hers, her mind swimming in how nice she always smelt.

 

_“How can you forgive me?”_

 

Valentina pulled back, grabbing Juliana’s hands in her own.

 

“ _You didn’t do anything wrong. This whole situation, with us, our families, how we feel, has never been easy. How could I hold the actions of others against you. Yes I was hurt, but you were right, we weren't together and you were confused and you did what you thought you had to; and besides you are here with me right now and not in another place with him.”_

 

Juliana felt another wave of disgust splash about in the pit of her stomach. She really wished she could go back and make sure it never happened, that she could somehow stop herself from believing Sergio was trying to help her figure things out… 

 

_“I meant what I said val…_ _It was nothing like what I experienced with you. I regret it, then, now and probably always will.”_

 

Valentina sat back against the sofa and pulled Juliana to her, resting her head on her shoulder. A calm settled on the space around them, their breathing becoming in sync with the passing moments, Juliana’s hands gripping onto the soft delicate fabric of the shawl Valentina was wearing, like she would disappear if she let go. It was the reversal of how Valentina had clung to her at the hospital when her mom was recovering, right down to the yawn that Juliana tried to stifle. 

 

She felt Valentina shift and stand up, her heart thumping with disappointment at the loss of closeness. Her head hung low as Valentina stepped past her but was surprised when a hand was extended towards her, beckoning her to stand and follow. Valentina’s hand in hers felt soft and strong and with purpose. It felt familiar, it felt normal… It felt like home. 

 

Juliana had seen this evening going so differently. She had prepared herself for the worst, for what she thought was going to happen, what had happened before when she had screwed everything up but as she stood face to face with Valentina in her bedroom, fingers curled into the soft skin at her hips, she began to feel like it everything could eventually be okay. Her breath hitched slightly as she let Valentina slip the leather jacket from her shoulders and onto the floor; memories flooding her mind of the last time she was in this room, standing like this, with Valentina. She stood motionless as she watched Valentina slip her shawl like jacket off and place it onto the chair at her side, as she unbuttoned her black high waisted jeans, untucked her shirt, removing everything, replacing it all with a simple tee shirt that was a little too big for her, cascading down around her knees. It was a sight that Juliana would never want to get used to, it was like watching a sunrise and sunset at the same time, like seeing a masterpiece being painted in real time, like looking at the future and everything she could ever had hope to experience in her life. 

 

Juliana was pulled from her mind as arms slipped around her, gentle lips pressed to her neck. As if on instinct, her arms found their way around Valentina, pulling her as close as possible. She felt her heart beat settle and a weariness coat her from the inside out. Valentina must have been able to sense the shift in Juliana’s muscles because she pulled back and look at Juliana with those soft blue eyes of hers. The ones Juliana would forever be lost in, the ones she hoped that she could look into always. Juliana rested her forehead against Valentina’s and nudged their noses together. 

 

It was a grounding moment. 

 

An I’m still here and your real moment. 

 

An I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you just how much you mean to me moment.

 

Warm breath ghosted across her lips as Valentina brought them together. A slow, delicate kiss, filled with remembering, with i’m sorry’s and with please don’t ever leave me again’s. Juliana’s hands cupped Val’s face, thumbs dancing across perfect cheek bones, fingers relishing in the feeling of Valentina’s soft hair at her neck. She could feel a warmth spreading through her chest as Valentina’s hands gripped at the belt loops of her jeans, tugging on them gently, trying to bring Juliana even closer to her. As the kiss deepened, Valentina turned them around and Juliana felt herself being coaxed backwards, until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed. The sudden contact started them a little and the broke apart, breathing a little heavy, lips parted in wonderment of the others just having been pressed against them. 

 

Valentina’s hands migrated to the front of Juliana’s jeans and and undid the button, helping her step out of them after kicking off her sneakers. As they hit the floor, Juliana couldn’t stifle another yawn that rippled through her chest. It made Valentina smile at just how hard Juliana was trying to make it seem that she wasn't tired.

 

_“You are tired Mi amor..”_

 

Juliana looked at Valentina apologetically if somehow her being tired was the worst thing in the world. 

 

_“I’m sorry. It’s just been a lot and I haven't really been able to sleep… without the nightmares.”_

 

A sad frown creased its way across Valentina’s brow, causing Juliana to shake her head and chase it away with delicate fingers.

 

_“Don’t do that… You’re to beautiful to look so sad.”_

 

Valentina grabbed Juliana’s hand and helped her under the covers in the bed. Juliana took a deep breath as her body hit the soft mattress and the unique scent that was Valentina filled her senses from all sides. Her eyes fluttered closed and and she shifted as she felt the bed beside her dip with the weight of Valentina slipping in beside her, gathering her into her arms, head resting on her shoulders, arm wrapped around her shoulders, lips pressed to the top of her head; Juliana gripping the front of Val’s tee shirt once more.

 

_“Try and sleep. You are exhausted. I’ve got you…”_

 

Without much effort at all Juliana felt herself slipping further and further into unconsciousness.  The sound of Valentina’s heart beat and steady breaths lulling her into slumber.

 

THE PRESENT

 

Juliana was pulled from her memories by Valentina’s knee nestling between her thighs, long hair cascading around her face as she held herself above, arms beside her head. Juliana’s hands migrate to Valentina’s hips, drawing hopes, and dreams and whimsical nothings onto them, like a road map to her mind. As Valentina leant down and to place a soft kiss to her lips, Juliana’s hands slip beneath the thin cotton of the shirt Valentina had fallen asleep in, coming to rest on her ribs, fingers fitting perfectly into the spaces between them.. and in that moment, nothing else mattered and Juliana could never imagine being anywhere else. 

 

Lost in the tide of ocean blues, and the warmth of the soul of the sun. The universe she wants was right there in front of her, and if anyone asked, she’d tell them.. this.. this woman right here is my world.

 


End file.
